Ponderings of Home

My sons exploring the world through the windows of a fish-head.

I have started a new short story this week and the central focus, so far, explores the concept of home.

Is home a specific place? Is it a person? Is it family or is it being part of a community? How does one define home?

I stumbled on this story by accident when I saw my Grandmother's first name, Audrey, on a book. Memory evoked hearing my Grandfather tenderly referring to her as "Aud," made me wish I could stop by for a coffee.

Once I started writing my thoughts my brain skipped to them moment I first felt I'd come home, except this moment came as I sat in a Bar, in a strange city, surrounded by strangers. To my logical mind this place should have been the opposite of home, so what was this I felt? This is a concept which I've been pondering for years and my idea of home keeps growing and changing. And no, that Bar was definitely not home, but then, that's part of a bigger story.

Thus I have my current story project and I plan on working on it more during July's "National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo) Camp".  For those who don't know, this is a smaller version of the National Novel Writing Month event which is held every November and participants get the experience of being put in a cabin with other writers for the month, making a virtual community.

What would you work on if you had a whole month to develop it and a virtual community of like minded writers in which to call home while you did this?

The Secret Life of Characters

Today, I spent time moving and pricing stuff in preparation for the garage sale I have having next week. It's something I have been trying to get organized for awhile as I am trying to purge and clean out things I no longer need. My biggest hang up is books. What to keep and what to get rid of? I'm uncertain if I will even put the books in the garage sale. However, this got me thinking about the secret lives of characters. One of the things I love about Jasper Fforde's books is that his characters can go in and out of books and that the characters in books are only living a part on the page, like actors in a movie, and have whole other lives outside their 'home' books.

As a writer, one of the things I love about my characters is learning about them through the story. But, now that my novel, "The Trade Off," has been written in first draft, which I am about to revise, I am wondering what else I can learn about the characters which isn't in the book. I suspect that if I become intimately acquainted with the characters, aside from the story line, that it will help them become more vibrant on the page.

So... I am going to begin a series of posts where I explore aspects of the characters in relation to real life and I hope you will join me on the voyage and enjoy getting to know their secret lives with me. 

Announcing the Yukon Blog Carnival

Before last week, when my friend Amanda sent out an email organizing one, I had never heard of a blog carnival. A blog Carnival, to my new understanding, involves participating bloggers to all commit to blog during the same time and is designed to get people blogging and readers reading. There is usually a theme and the suggested theme for this particular festival is "Blogging in 2012."

As you can see, at the bottom of my page, and right below this paragraph, there is a web tag notifying readers I am a participant in this carnival. During the next 2 weeks I will attempt to blog at last once a week, probably on a Saturday, and hopefully more. I also look forward to seeing who all the other participants are and reading what they have to blog about.

Happy reading!!

PS If you would like to join us, participants are welcome to join at any time :) Have fun!! 

A Miner's Range

This weeks word lead me on several journeys. I finally ended up, far from the mountains of ideas where I began, with Luke. Luke's traplines, which he mines seasonally for furs, range throughout the valley below and up the forested mountainside near the village where he lives. He gathers enough pelts and meat each winter to eat and pay for lodging for himself and his crippled son. But this year he's worried. Strange things have been happening, traps have gone missing and he's only managed to trap 2 rabbits in the past few weeks, no where near enough to survive.

Caught in a blinding snowstorm Luke takes solace in the fact that he could find his way to the cabin, half an hour away, blindfolded if he had to. His only worry is what to do if the storm lasts more than a day or two as his food supply is getting low. This turns to astonishment when he is woken half-way through the night by a loud clapping and abruptly the storm is gone, pushed away onto the horizon. The forest all around is briefly lit with a brilliant purple light. As the lights dance there is a crisp crackle in the air, the cabin and forest disappears, and he finds himself standing in the middle of a gravel road surrounded by the barren dirt of a clear-cut stretching out in both directions. Is he dreaming?

Note: This photo is not related to those mountains in the Miner's Range any more than the story I began this week. It is instead a picture I took just out side Haines Junction in Kluane International Park, Easter 2008. 

Introducing Kat Mortensen

In my on-line forays I have recently had the pleasure of meeting Kat Mortensen. Kat is a canadian poet who recently published and released her first collection of poetry, Shadowstalking and when she provided me with the opportunity to interview her on my blog I was delighted.

So, without more ado... here she is!!

1. What inspired you to begin writing and how has your writing evolved?

I’ve always been a writer of sorts. As a kid I used to write little poems and enjoyed putting them in cards for family occasions.  I loved when school assignments involved poetry, but I like to write, in general.

It has only been in the last few years that I’ve started looking upon writing as something that defines me.  I take it seriously now; I work at it. 

The funny thing is, I’ve reached the point where I need to write.  If I don’t do it, I feel rather empty and unfulfilled.  As soon as I create something, I am energized and invigorated.

My poetic writing has evolved from “found poems” about news items and celebrity to more formal poetry and self-revelatory work.  On the other hand, I don’t set particular goals with respect to what I will write at any given time; I like to go with the cerebral flow.  I allow my brain to dictate what will be written – the emotion and sense of it is divulged with the writing.

2. As I'm late getting into the loop, can you tell me a bit about this world tour I've been reading about on your blog? Is this something which you are doing to promote your new book Shadowstalking or are there more reasons?

Ah, the world tour! Yes. You are correct in linking this to the promotion of my book, “shadowstalking”.  It was dreamed up to add a bit of interest and flair to a “virtual tour” that enables me to share something of myself as creator of the book.  I’m happy that you wanted to be a part of it.  If you visit the designated shadowstalking blog, you can see all the previous stop-offs that “shadowstalking” has made.  It’s gratifying to already have been received both domestically and across the Atlantic.  I’m excited to be here with you, Leonie, in the “Great White North” of my home-country, Canada.

3. If you could offer one piece of advice to other writers what would it be?

I have to borrow from  Shakespeare for this answer.  One of the most famous lines comes from “Hamlet” when Polonius says to his son, Laertes, “To thine own self be true.”  This, above all is what I would offer as advice.  Stay true to your own personal style and interests.  When you are true to yourself, it comes through in your work. When you are false and try to mimic someone else or be someone you are not, the work suffers and your readers will know that you’re just faking it.

Thanks Kat, for the lovely interview and insightful answers.

If you're interested in learning more about Kat or her book Shadowstalking, check out her blogs Poetikat's Invisible Keepsakes or Shadowstalking.

Enjoy!

Photo's: Kat Mortensen (top) and Shadowstalking Cover (bottom). Both images were supplied by Kat. Thanks Kat!

Part 1: The Birth of a Story Inception

Outlines work fine, if you already know the story. Which is precisely why they don't work for me; I approach my writing from the other end, preferring to create the story from the inside out. Writing those initial draft(s) to find out what the story's about is like walking when you're pregnant - it helps with the delivery. This fact I can attest to, having given birth 3 times.

In it's inception the story has the potential to go in any direction it chooses on the unwritten slate of my subconscious womb. Writing out everything initially coming to mind is part of the pairing process. This is where the DNA from my subconscious and the physical production of something concrete begins. The story begins to take form as I learn more about the characters and who they are. Their wants, desires and flaws emerge along with it's heartbeat; the core around which the story revolves, the problem, the stakes and the solution, allow for the pruning of earlier ideas and irrelevant details to begin. And this cell death results in the separation of fingers, toes and the formation of organs into distinct functioning parts.

It's at this point the outline starts to appear along with it's various layers, themes and story threads. Finally giving birth to a healthy piece of writing to be revised and polished - raised if you like.

About the photos: A sail boat in the straight between Vancouver and Vancouver Island taken from the ferry (top). My eldest son watching over the rail (bottom). Pictures taken in 2005.

Weaving with Words

The writing process can be described in many ways. In a recent conversation my friend, Erin, described a project she’s working on as being akin to piecing together a quilt. I have similar thoughts about my own process, having referred to it in the past as the making of a tapestry. Quilting, stitching or weaving, for myself, ideas unravel as I apply my fingers to the keyboard, flipping out skeins of text across the screen until I stop, hitting the end. 

Then I begin reading the sentences, picking out threads of colour; writing words down, thinking, reworking sentences until I am left with a mess of short sentences and paragraphs to sort through and combine. Which thoughts are best; how can I weave them together to create a complete picture?

Tangents grow and my mind, embroidering a million possibilities, focal points of colour, texture and feeling. If the old man really could encase his memories in glass would he be able to hold onto them. Or would it make them unattainable; something seen but unable to be grasped to recollection? 

Which idea will work better? I have to decide, thread it through and smooth out the kinks, trimming ragged edges and adding polish; fine points of colour, detail and sound woven together so invitingly it holds the reader’s eye up right to the last syllable. 

Out of Pockets

"Glass Marble"




My penpal and I were talking about writing and she loved the idea of a having a weekly word and suggested the work "Glass Marble." After a few days of pondering ideas began to emerge and so I took 15 minutes this morning to start  free writing about it at Baked and see where it went before I had to leave for Carcross. I surprised myself and have the beginnings of a very moving short short about an old man who used to make glass paperweights with images in them and now has Alzheimer's : )






I took this picture on the afternoon on Thursday, June 10th after coming back from my trip to Atlin, BC. It's taken on the corner of 1st and Main, looking up Main. The tables are sitting outside Baked Café. Looks inviting.

Finding Balance

I read a book once; well, part of a book. It was a book the counsellor I was going to see at the time lent me thinking it would help me sort out how I was feeling and what I could do about it. It didn't because she didn't understand what the issue in part because there were things I hadn't told her, which I was not ready to accept or deal with at the time. She therefore chalked my difficulties up to being creative and although it had nothing to do with what the issue was, I'm not sure she didn't touch on something.

The book, "Singing at the Top of Our Lungs" was about women, creativity and the modern world. I only read the beginning couple chapters, but it's one of those books I plan on buying at some point and actually reading through. The part I read delved into the "roles" and expectations of women in society with regards to their roles in relationships, love, sex, child rearing and society in general. And even though the roles in the book seemed a bit out of date, the psychologically unspoken expectations seemed accurate to me in many regards and I could see how they applied. The roles talked about all the unspoken expectations on women to take care of others, ensuring that everyone is content and has what they need. Therefore, putting the needs of others first, often at the expense of ignoring their own wishes and needs, for the greater good of children, husband and family. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but throw in the need for creative expression or even the thought of taking care or ones own needs first and without balance it's like trying to doing everything or, as in the books title, "singing at the top of our lungs."

This balance is different for everyone. One of the women in the book achieved a balance and natural rhythm which worked for her by varying what she did during the year. I can't recall exactly how she set things up, but it was something along the lines of developing and framing her photography in the winters and walking, painting and taking pictures in the summers. This was her natural rhythm and allowed her the pace, creative outlet and rest which she needed.

I was intrigued and have since been searching for that rhythm myself. For me, writing and other creative expression has to be part of my life. It's an integral part of who I am. But, I also care about people and am, at heart, an advocate for societal change and equality where women, children and childcare are concerned. It is sometimes hard to find that balance of doing what I need, taking care of the needs of my family, meeting the obligations of work and working for social change. Thus, I'm always trying new approaches, hoping I'll hit on the right combination.

Having a rhythm is not the same as having a schedule and finding it is much like the process I'm going through with my revision of The Closet Guardian." Tightening word count and condensing it without losing the those pieces which are necessary for plot, character and story arch. Having studied how the pieces all work together, their importance to each other and the plot has allowed me to carefully change things without altering the framework and keep its integrity. Figuring out what is working in my life allows me to change things slowly and see if they fit and whether or not they work for me. For example, although my family has regular meals, I only eat when I'm hungry. I am learning to sleep when I'm tired and get up and write when I wake at 5 in the morning and begin composing a blog post or a story in my head. This is possible because I've arranged my work so that things are more flexible. I've also begun taking my dog places with me. That too has worked wonderfully as she and I get more walks together and we both enjoy and need the exercise.

I've also in the past few weeks realized that although my daily schedule might be more flexible, scheduling writing time is a must (even if it's not the same time every day or week) or I get sucked into doing other things, because there is always things to do for work, around the house, yard, or with my family. And the problem with that is if, like the past 8 weeks, I do not get large chunks of time to write, draw or be creative in some way, then I become overwhelmed and feel smothered and stressed. Not a good thing. This also why a writing space, like the café, works better than home as there are no menial distractions and the odd break when someone comes up to talk to me is refreshing and actually helpful.

Thoughts for Breakfast

So, apparently I eat weird things for breakfast. At least, according to my friends who happen to be around mid-morning when I begin to forage in the cupboards pulling out strange things like, left over curry, carrots, fruit, granola bars, figs, egg plant, stir fry or the odd piece of pie.

Hey, who ever said pie wasn't a healthy thing to eat, it has fruit (generally) and grain , albeit loaded with sugar, lard and other calories. My favourite's raisin, or cherry, or apple, or... okay, I guess I don't really have a favourite, it's all good. In my mind food is food and when I'm hungry... probably not a good time for me to go shopping, unless you want me to bring back half the grocery store because everything looks so good I can't make up my mind what I want most.

Speaking of breakfast got me thinking about Jasper Fforde. Ruth McCullough first introduced me to his work during one of Jerome Stueart's creative writing classes. That was a neat class. Half of us students were writing great literary novels (or at least, we hope they will be) and the other half were working on fantasy that was generally pretty out of this world and great to read! The assignment had been to either write 5 blog posts on a book or bring a book in your genre that would appeal to the other half of the class and explain why. Ruth brought in Jasper Fforde's series about Thurday Next.

Thursday Next is a literary detective who's a member of this special group of people that police works of fiction. In about the fourth book, The Well of Lost Plots, when Thursday's pregnant with the child of her dead husband, she goes into hiding in an unpublished book. Her biggest complaint is that people in books never seem to have breakfast. There are tons of teas, dinner parties, lunches and socials, but apparently breakfast is too boring to write about. So, she gets these stock characters, blank characters with little or no personality often used as filler's in crowd scenes, and teaches them how to make breakfast for her. After all, they might as well be useful. This of course is in the residence she is housesitting while the "real" book character she's filling in for is on vacation and when she isn't playing the part the reader reads in the book... like being off set.

In breaking the breakfast rule, this is one book guaranteed to have many breakfast scenes and variety of food to eat. And in my mind, variety is the key to enjoying breakfast. I mean who made up "breakfast" food anyway. Why is it that only eggs, bacon, ham, toast, cereal (cold or hot), bagels, yoghourt, cottage cheese, muffins, biscuits, pancakes or waffles, and fruit salad, are "breakfast" food and everything else is snack or dinner food? That's a lot of grain, dairy, meat and fruit, without being much of a selection of anything. There's what... 4 kinds of bread, 2 of cereal, two kind of meat, and there are only so many ways to do eggs. Then we wonder why it is our arteries are plugged when we eat eggs, ham, and bacon with toast all the time, no thank-you.

Don't get me wrong. Those of you traditional breakfast lovers can have your bacon, eggs, cereal or whatever it is you want. But for me, having to only eat specific things for breakfast would be like only being allowed to write (or read) certain kinds of things one or two ways... where's the interest in that? For me, writing is an adventure to be savoured as I learn about my subject, the characters, or the world I'm creating, no two alike... kind of like breakfast. I wonder what it'll be tomorrow... maybe biscuits with olives, onions, a bit of olive oil, basil, majoram, tarragon (for sweetness) and a dash of pepper... not to forget a pinch of white wine vinegar... mmmm. Last time I made those my kids thought I was crazy. "Are you trying to kill us Mom... olives? In biscuits?" they said. But that was before they tasted them!

Words

Notes. How can one begin to describe the sound of a tune, the pitch, the tone so clear to our ears? The background chorus of a song. O-ee-o-ee-oo-eee. The feeling of the deep rich notes reverberating up from the diaphram with an emotional power so great it threatens to break through your chest and carry you away. Music that profound expression of emotion beyond words, tears, joy, and depth of being.

Purple. Yellow. When mixed these too colours make a golden brown. The more yellow the golder the brown, the more purple the richer the brown. Add black or white and you get various shades. From these two colours come shades to numerous for words. A painting for a thousand unspoken words, it speaks to our eyes.

Art. Music. Talent. Each set apart by their own limitations. The frame work which informs and defines them as rules define athletic skill. What would be the skill in playing basket ball if there were no rules by which to govern it? The very guidelines of the game allow the player to delight us with his skill in mastering the elements, twisting the variables, bending the game to his advantage stretching the bounds of his skill to make that impossible shot.

Black ink. Pages. Flat. Words. They break from the boundaries of the page to touch our hearts and enlighten our thoughts.

Making Writing Time

As most writers will tell you, being a writer is more about rewriting than writing and I find that the rewriting often takes exponentially longer than the initial writing of the first draft.

In December I spent some 20 hours working on a 2500 word story which I submitted to Free Fall Magazine's annual prose contest. Since submitting it I have, of course, found there is still a minor plot hole. At which point one can only throw up ones hands and say, "Oh well, it's off already," and begin to think about how you're going to fix that little problem for next time.

So how does one make the time to get the massive amount of drafts done having something ready to send out and when do you decide that enough is enough and it's ready to send out?

Workspace, dedication, and a sheer love of what you do. I find it hard to write when there are dishes, laundry and a myriad of other things calling me... and with three kids the household chores, dishes, laundry are never ending (even though they help with it), not to forget those extracurricular activities they all want to take part in. So, I try and keep my workspace somewhat uncluttered and what I refer to as my studio is off limits for the kids to bring stuff into.

Scheduling writing time is also important... for those who have trouble making time for stuff. I also multitask. If I have to take one of the kids somewhere and wait, I take a notebook and draw or write. I'm lucky in some ways... writing is as much a part of my soul as breathing so it something I'm constantly engaged in whenever there is a spare minute during the day either in physically putting words down or working out some difficulty in phrasing or plot as I walk the dog.

The other thing I do is go to Cafe's to write. It gives me the opportunity to observe people, be social if I choose (or at least feel social) and percolates my imagination... I wonder why that person is....

New Beginnings

The New Year stretches before us and I wonder, like Emily Starr, a character in canadian author L.M. Montgomery's book, Emily of New Moon, what we will accomplish, how we will grow and who we will have become at the end of the journey? Will it be a year fulfilling all of our best hopes and dreams, a year of sorrow and pain leading to new awareness and growth, or a year with a sweet mix of both? One we'll look back on with contentment, knowing it was a year well lived.

What will I write during this year? What lands will I travel too and what characters will I meet? What books will I read? And what will I learn through it all?

Traditionally, on New Years, one makes New Years resolutions. Resolutions we all cynically tease each other about, instilling doubts as to the length of time we will actually maintain them. It seems to be a contest that happens every year where we all take unspoken bets on whose resolution will last the longest. Those who are successful at keeping their resolutions either have extreme willpower or spent hours deliberating and watering down their expectations to something which might be reasonable to accomplish.

This year, I was struck by the idea of not making New Years resolutions, but rather making New Years wishes. I'm not sure that I believe the old adage that if you tell a wish it won't come true. But, I still can't tell you what my wishes are because that's the nature of wishes, they are more personal and more private than resolutions. And in truth, I feel more deeply about the things I wish for than the things I would resolve to do. Even the whole idea of the word resolution sounds like a duty and nobody loves a duty.

People are more likely to do things out of love than duty. So if resolutions are a duty to keep is it any wonder that so many of us fail? Goals, on the other hand are more positive. Goals are things I want to work towards and a well thought out goal is usually achievable. I have many writing goals, the biggest of which are:

1)to get more things published (probably achievable) and
2)to be able to write 8 hours a day (definitely not something happening tomorrow - unless I win the lottery).

However, I would rather make small attainable goals throughout the year. And isn't the idea behind a resolution that it should be big enough you can carry it throughout the year from beginning to end and celebrate it's success before making a new one? A wish may or may not last all year. And if you had many wishes you could assess how many were achieved in the year, how many you are still hoping for, and what ones you have grown mature enough, in retrospect, to see were unrealistic.

A wish is like a hope, it keeps one going, it's more positive and there isn't the same pressure to put out. But, how to keep track? If I were to write my wish down I get the feeling it's very concreteness on the paper would steal it's power. For a wishes hope lies in the very nature of it's elusiveness and uncertainty. So what does a writer do to keep track of wishes?

When I think of keeping track of wishes my thoughts go back to Montgomery’s Emily and something she did to keep track of her dreams. Emily was a writer. And much like writers today she fought for every small victory with blood, sweat and rejection letters. But, as a writer she had a special way of keeping track of her own growth and hopes for the future. As a young woman overcome with dreams, goals and desires, she began writing herself letters to be opened at a later date. These became treasures she would read by herself, at the appointed time, with mixed bitterness and joy as she remembered the person she had been, her innocent longings, her old hopes and her mixed successes. After reading them she would put them aside and write herself another letter, replying to her thoughts and making more wishes for the future.

And so, sometime on this New Years Day, I am going to write myself a letter. I will not exactly write out my wishes, preferring them to keep the power of their ether, but will instead compose a letter exploring the hopes and possibilities of where I might find myself in my unwritten future should my wishes have been granted and comtemplate what wisdom I may have gained in the journey. And when the day comes to open it, I will see how far I've come, how unrealistic some of my expectations were (and hopefully some which were not) and how much I've grown as a writer and a woman.

Happy New Year!

Revisions and Feedback

I recently got back from attending the Banff Centre for the Arts where they have a number of writing programs. The most commonly known ones being 'Writing with Style' and 'Wired Writing.' I attended the 'Writing with Style' program and workshoped my story, originally titled 'Story of a Dead Man', which explores the memories of a man who discovers too late that life is too short to make choices for other people.

The most amazing part of my Banff trip was the realization of how much I pull from my surroundings when I'm writing. There were two aspects of being in Banff which I drew on especially. The first was the train. Every few hours (during the night and day) a train whistle would ghost across the campus - which was wonderful as I love trains. The second thing was the Graveyard. The Graveyard lay just a few minutes walk from my dorm room. I saw it the first day when I went for a walk to check out the land. I love graveyards and I was especially fascinated with the stonework construction of two of the cairns. (which I originally thought were garden sheds..oops!) After two days I got the first sentence of my revision, which now begins in Grey Mountain Cemetery (in the Yukon) and has a train whistle.

More information on the writing programs at the Banff Centre for the Arts can be found at http://www.banffcentre.ca/writing/

Aside from various programs in Art, Writing, Music and other programs the facilities are wonderful including a climbing wall (which is 30' tall and totally cool to play on), a pool, gyms, basketball courts, hiking trails and beautiful mountains. Just don't plan on getting lots of sleep as most of the students in my group (including myself) had difficulty sleeping. However, despite that, it was an experience which I would definitely repeat.

Welcome

If I've found if a cure for writers block (ps there is no such thing) it's a walk with my dog, a bike ride out in the fresh air, a swim, a run, or just heading out to the coffeeshop to relax and soak up the local colour. The act of letting go of that half written screen of text seems to allow fresh details to break through and a new perspective to emerge.

This is a blog all about the sometimes quirkiness of life as a writer, different aspects of writing and ideas I'm trying out. I will also be discussing things which inspire my writing and help to keep me focused and motivated. Feel free to add ideas or comments to any posts. I look forward reading them.